All in Age: 3
“Today I’m going to teach you to curse like a pirate, Joy!”
Dragon Father had recently appeared on the deck of Bonnie’s Revenge, woken Dragon Little from her bed, helped her brush her teeth and eat, and now declared what they were going to do today.
Three-old-old Dragon Little looked up at Dragon Father. “ ‘Curse?’”
“Yeah. It’s when you feel angry at someone and you… uh… curse.”
Dragon Little did not seem to get it. “Curse?”
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“Why is this place called the Land of Echoes?” Dragon Little asked as the two were walking between two huge rocks. Dragon Little at the time was three years old.
“Listen to this,” Dragon Father help up his finger, then yelled. “Echo!”
The echo echoed back: “Echo! Echo! Echo! Echo!”
Dragon Little eyes popped open in excitement. “Echo!” She shouted.
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Dragon Little, just three years old and a tiny human child, picked up a hammer as big as her father.
It was a huge, colorful hammer made of plastic and filled with air.
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“What’s wrong?” he asked.
She touched his cheek again. “You have thorns.”
“Thorns?”
He put her down and a mirror appeared in his hand. He looked at himself and laughed.
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They were on the deck of Bonny’s Revenge. Dragon Little taking a shower was still an event that happened once every three days or so. It was no longer a fight whether to shower or not - it was a fight about how effective it would be if Dragon Little did it all herself.
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Dragon Little was three years old when she confronted her first alien fleet.
A massive alien invasion of almost a thousand ships descended upon the Earth.
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“I have to pee.”
“Go pee! But quick! We have to catch Captain Badass!”
She stopped talking and decided to lie on the floor. “I’ll defeat you in a second,” she said.
“I’ll defeat you in a second,” the giant robot said.
Dragon Father grabbed his head with both hands. “I hate this day!”
“I hate this day!” came the metallic answer.
“Joy, Joy… Pleeeeeze stop!”
Even when Dragon Little was 3 years old, Dragon Father was somehow reduced to begging her to do what he wanted.
“Joy…”
“Joy!”
“Stop it!” he wagged his finger at her.
“Stop it!” she wagged her finger at his finger.
“Come on,” he reached with his hand.
Dragon Little shook her head.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“It’s mine!” She held it close to her chest.
“You can’t cry when we’re off to fight witches! Come on, Joy! Stop, stop! We have to get the witches before they kill the princess!”
But Dragon Little cried and cried.
“What would you like for breakfast today, milady?” Dragon Father bowed to the just-awakened Dragon Little.
“The same thing as always, midaddy,” she mimicked his voice and bowed back.
Dragon Little’s eyes closed slowly. Then, after a minute of two, she whispered. “What’s ‘dreams’, dad?”
“I mean it, Captain Badass. I haven’t seen Joy anywhere all day. Have you kidnapped her?”
Captain Badass sighed again, but could not resist. “She is there, right there on your back.”