“Today I’m going to teach you to curse like a pirate, Joy!”
Dragon Father had recently appeared on the deck of Bonnie’s Revenge, woken Dragon Little from her bed, helped her brush her teeth and eat, and now declared what they were going to do today.
Three-old-old Dragon Little looked up at Dragon Father. “ ‘Curse?’”
“Yeah. It’s when you feel angry at someone and you… uh… curse.”
Dragon Little did not seem to get it. “Curse?”
“Curse. But like a pirate. For example... “ And then he fell silent. “Damn. I was sure I knew a lot of pirate curses. But I can’t remember any of them.”
That was not surprising. Dragon Father did not know he was dreaming. But I have visited other dreams during my long life, and I have seen that dreamers sometimes find it hard to concentrate on facts they know in the waking world.
“Ah. Doesn’t matter. Let’s make them up. That’s the fun. Like… if you meet a bad guy, you can tell him, ‘Why, you lily-livered varmint’! Go ahead, try.”
“Why you…” She looked at him with questioning eyes. He nodded. “Why you… really rivered varmir!”
“Ah, close enough! Why you lily-livered varmint!”
“Why you really rivered raremint!”
Dragon Father laughed. “Yes. Absolutely. Tell that to the next villain we meet.”
“Why you rarely rivered raremint!” Dragon Little repeated, probably committing it to heart. It was true that it was funny to see such an innocent, wide-eyed child try out these words and copy her father’s tones.
“Okay. How’s this: You doggone diggity doogidy!”
Dragon Little pursed her lips and said nothing.
“You can do it. Come on. You see a villain and you say, ‘You doggone diggity doogidy!”
“You doggy-dagga-dagga-diggy!”
“All right, all right,” he nodded. “Let’s try that again. “You doggone diggidy doogidy!”
“You diggidy-diggidy-diggidy!”
“All right, all right,” he nodded calmly again. “Maybe we need something more your age. Wanna try?”
She nodded.
Of course, that was just the beginning of their curse-filled day. Tomorrow I will tell you what happened next.
—Told by The Red Dragon