“Asshole,” Joy says. “Asshole. Asshole.”
Suzy looks at me and shakes her head. Justin just cursed the villain he and Joy and Charlie were fighting and disappeared.
The villain vanished with him, but the bad word stayed behind.
“I don’t understand why it’s a curse.” Joy parked the ship next to our island and she, Charlie, and Master Mind came to talk to Suzy and me.
“Justin used to have a mouth on him,” Suzy says. “Back when he played tennis. Ignore it.”
“But why is it a curse word?” Joy insists. “Asshole is the hole we have in our asses, right? So why would you call a person an asshole?”
Charlie shakes his head. Suzy and I keep our thoughts to ourselves.
“Asshole. Asshole,” Joy says. “It’s a stupid curse. I hate it. Asshole. Asshole.”
She looks at Suzy. “Why are you making that face, Grandma? Can’t you say it?”
“I can say asshole perfectly well,” Suzy says. “But I think that children who are used to cursing get used to doing bad things.”
Joy looks at her for a second, then seems to change her train of thought and looks at me. “You made a face, too, Grampa. Can you say it?”
I think about it. What’s the right thing to say here? “Well,” I make up my mind. “I can say it in a British accent. Arsehole.”
There, that’s not like I really said it, is it?
“Very mature, Walt,” Suzy says under her breath.
Joy turns to Charlie. “Can you say it?”
Charlie shakes his head. “I don’t want to say it.”
“Come on, it’s just words.”
“Nuh-uh. I don’t want to say it,” he says sheepishly.
Joy thinks about it, then turns to Master Mind. “What about you?”
“I can say anything. I am circuits. It is merely pronouncing words through a speaker.”
“Then say it. Come on.”
“Ass…” Master Mind begins and freezes.
We all swing our heads at the same time. Did he actually freeze?
“Master Mind!” Joy touches his arm warmly.
“I am fine, Little Pirate. I have just realized that if I were to say that word, I will have given a small victory to my evil self. My evil self has been growing smaller and smaller over the last seven years and two months. I believe this will give it a miniscule reason to grow. The paper heart you have given me is not threatened by such a small rise in power. I will try again.”
“No!” Joy grabs his arm tightly. “Never say it!” She looks at Suzy and says with earnest surprise. “I guess it is a bad word!”
—Told by Grampa Walt
Hashtags: Joy, Charlie, Master Mind, cursing, Grampa, Grandma, Master Mind’s paper heart