“Say after me. Say it with anger,” Sam says. “Shit!”
Charlie giggles. Joy says, “Why would I say shit?”
“Because you feel a need to curse. When people don’t like something, they use words that The Man calls dirty and bad. But they’re not dirty, they’re just words.”
“But when I shit, it is dirty. I wouldn’t touch it.”
“Yes, yes, of course,” Sam says. I don’t think he’s ever met a child this direct. “But we use it as a curse word. Just to show anger. Say it with me: Shit!”
Joy and Charlie exchange looks. Then, they both say, “Shit!”
I look at Justin. He’s just leaning on the wall, watching.
“Okay. Now with anger,” says Sam. “Assume you’re really angry with something.”
“Like if I ever see Captain Badass again and he has the drop on me?” Joy asks.
“Yeah. Sure. With anger!”
Charlie goes first, “Shit shit shit shit!” he gets really into it. He is angry about something.
“Now you, Joy.”
“Shit shit shit shit!” she says without too much emotion. “Okay?”
Sam wobbles his head. “We’ll work on it. Now, say the word ‘fuck’.”
Charlie puts his hands on his mouth, while Joy asks, “What does that mean?”
“Never mind what it means,” Justin chimes in. “It’s just a curse word. We use it only as a curse word.”
“Say fuck,” Sam urges.
“Fuck,” Joy says.
“Be angry.”
“Fuck!” Joy takes a breath, and continues, “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Captain Badass, I’m going to put you in prison again!”
“Good. Now you, Charlie.”
“Ah…” he hesitates.
“Come on, it’s easy,” Joy tells him.
“Fuck?” he says. “Fuck fuck fuck?”
“Angry!”
“Fuuuuuuck?” he tries to raise his voice but it ends up sounding like a question again.
“All right. Good progress,” says Sam. “Let’s move on to the next one. Say ‘asshole’.”
“What does that mean?” says Joy.
I see Justin turn around, trying not to show that he’s laughing. How long is this ridiculousness going to go on?
(To be continued…)
—Told by Grampa Walt