‘The Squashbuckler Diaries’ are the daily tales of Joy Shelley’s Life in the Dream. The ‘Lost in Dreams’ books will tell the story of what happens to her at ages 6, 9, 12, 15, and so on. The diaries tell us what happens before, after, and between the books.

#167: Death, Part 3: Dead Is Dead

I swooped down on Bonny’s Revenge, my wings spread wide and coasting on the wind that ist only there when Dragon Father ist in the Dream. 

It had been a while since I had flown, and it has been less than a year since I had been freed by Dragon Father and Dragon Little and could fly on my own.

We were not yet good friends, back when Dragon Little was only 3 years old, but I loved her deeply, and in my heart I called her ‘Dragon Little’ instead of Joy Shelley. 

My heart leapt at coming out of my hiding place, at meeting Dragon Little and talking to her. I could not wait to ride together when she was older. 

Dragon Little saw me come, and began to jump up and down. The sadness she had felt over what had just happened disappeared, if only for a few seconds. 

I flapped my wings and slowed down. I landed in the ocean next to Bonny’s Revenge, floating next to them, my face looking at my two favorite people. 

Dragon Father opened the hand that held the ram’s horn that called me. The ram’s horn disappeared. 

“Red!” Dragon Little jumped on the railing, and from there, before any of us could do anything, jumped above the ocean and onto my face. 

“Jeez,” Dragon Father muttered under his breath at the jump she had just made. 

She hugged me, spreading her arms, between my two eyes, and not even close to any of them. 

“It is such a pleasure seeing you so close, my Dragon Little, and talking to you.”

“Mmmmmmmmm!” She hugged as tight as she could. Which, truthfully, for a dragon can hardly be felt. 

Dragon Little took a step back and her pout returned. “Red, do you know where Mary is?”

Dragon Father looked at me, his lips pursed. He had summoned me, not to defeat a villain, but to help him deal with the fact that he had promised Dragon Little that Mary was alive again, when the truth was the he could not summon her back.

“Alas,” I told her in as calm a voice as possible. “Your nanny, Mary, was killed many months ago, my Dragon Little.” 

“But Dad said she was back!” 

“Mmmmm,” I kept my voice as even as possible. I was never a mother and never would be one. This was my chance to be a mother for a day, helping a daughter face hard truths. “Your father can do many, many things, my dear child. But he cannot bring back the dead.”

“I can’t?” He made a face. He did not believe me. There were things he would yet need to learn, but not today. 

“The dead are dead. I have known many, many friends who have gone, who have turned to dust and cannot ever return.” 

Dragon Father looked down. “I haven’t yet. Except for Mary.” 

“Mmmmmm… Say… Dragon Little, Dragon Father, would you like to have a fun day?”

“Huh?” 

“Have you ever eaten ice cream?”

“What, what! I want ice cream! Dad, I want ice cream! What’s ice cream?”

Dragon Father laughed. “You’re in for a treat, Joy!” 

“Climb on my back,” I told them. “Let’s leave your ship behind. Let’s go to a very special place.”

They climbed on my back. I knew where I would lead them. 

I will tell you about that tomorrow.

—Told by The Red Dragon

#168: Death, Part 4: Riding a Dragon

#166: Death, Part 2: Back from the Dead?