#278: Ye Olde Weapons Shoppe, Part 1
“Mary, we’re going off to the weapons shop!” Dragon Father waved at Mary. “Come on, Joy, wave at Mary.”
“Bye bye, Mary!”
Dragon Little was only 2 years old, and was teetering between being unable to do anything and being a budding warrior, sometimes the one, sometimes the other.
“Aw, look at you all excited to go and buy new weapons!” Dragon Little’s nanny clasped her hands together. “Enjoy!”
Bonny’s Revenge parked a few meters above the parking lot of the weapons shop.
Dragon Father went down the rope ladder first, only going down a few runs, then waited for Dragon Little to start.
Dragon Little could climb up and down a rope ladder without a problem, but he still watched over her.
“All right,” he took her in his arms once they were about to enter. “No touching anything, right?”
“Right!”
The weapons shop was a small, long shop set atop a small asteroid, only four times bigger than Bonny’s Revenge. Above it hung a wooden sign with text carved into it: “Ye Olde Weapons Shoppe”. A handful of villains and mercenaries had parked outside and were browsing the various sections.
I could not see inside the shop from my hiding place, but my sharp dragon ears could hear everything.
“Okay, sweetheart, I know your knife broke. Choose a new knife.”
Dragon Little chose a knife.
“Oooh, I like these swords much better. I’ll take two of those.”
“I want that sword!” Dragon Little shouted.
“Joy, that’s not a sword, that’s a machete. Machetes are not weapons for little girls.”
“I am not little! I want a machetchet!”
“Machetchet!” Dragon Father laughed. “You can make any weapon sound cute. Any weapon! Say it again!”
“Machetchet!”
“Machetchet!”
“Mmachetchet!”
“Machetchet!”
I could hear footsteps, heavy footsteps. He was still holding her and he was walking. He had probably moved her away from the machetes, hoping she’ll forget.
“What’s that?” Dragon Little said as they were browsing.
“Those are grenades. They make things go boom.”
“I want boom! I want boom! Let’s buy them!”
“Joy, swashbucklers don’t really use grenades. We use swords and--”
“I want boom! I want boom!”
“Okay. I’ll get you a couple. Let’s just go see some laser guns, and we’ll be done.”
A few minutes later, Dragon Father had bought two new swords, a knife for Dragon Little, and laser pistol for himself.
They were back on Bonny’s Revenge, when Dragon Little remembered, “Did you buy the grenades?”
“Oh, no!” Dragon Father hit his head in regret. “I forgot!”
He looked back at the meteor, but it had disappeared. “Oh, no, the store is gone now. Ah, well, next time!”
She nodded. “Next time.”
Dragon Little was much easier to fool when she was two years old. As you have seen in these tales I tell, it did not last.
—Told by The Red Dragon