‘The Squashbuckler Diaries’ are the daily tales of Joy Shelley’s Life in the Dream. The ‘Lost in Dreams’ books will tell the story of what happens to her at ages 6, 9, 12, 15, and so on. The diaries tell us what happens before, after, and between the books.

#257: Apology of the Red Dragon

I cried while my sweet Dragon Little caressed my nose. The four-and-a-half-year-old human girl was standing on the railing of the pirate ship Bonny’s Revenge, as it floated in space, and caressed me, her friend, who nearly attacked her father in a way that would never repair our relationship. 

I felt all the pain of the last hundreds of years of my existence come out as I cried. All the cruelty, all the abuse. But more than that: The childhood they had stolen from me, the life of joy I had never experienced until I met Joy Shelley and her father. 

I have lived for hundreds of years and I have never felt the love of a parent or a friend, not really, not until I felt Dragon Little caress me.

I whimpered and stopped crying. 

I could not look at her.

I could not look at Dragon Father and what I had done. 

It was only his dream, after all. It would have disappeared even I had not gotten involved. 

I felt so ashamed. I shouldn’t be loved, I told myself, not the way she loved me. 

“Dragon Little… Joy… I am sorry for the way I behaved.” 

“Shhh, shhh,” Dragon Little said. 

“I am sorry, Justin… Slavery… for me… ist…” 

“I understand.” I heard the sigh of relief in his voice. His young daughter had brought down a dangerous dragon with love, while he couldn’t do it with the force of a dreamer. At least not in the time he had. 

I flapped my wings harder. I had to leave. I had to lick my inner wounds again and get over my shame and pain. 

“You don’t wanna stay, Red?” she asked as I turned my head away. 

“I have to go,” I said, almost crying again. “I hope you will invite me back for a fun adventure in a few months.” 

“Of course we will!” she said immediately and happily. “Won’t we, Dad?” 

He hesitated. I heard the hesitation. “Of course,” he said then. “We will.” 

“See you soon!” My face was turned away and I was already flying away from them and towards the suns. And yet my sharp dragon ears heard her hand flap in the air as she waved to me. 

“You are a wondrous, lovely creature,” I whispered to her, allowing the space wind to carry my voice to her ears. “I’ll see you soon.” 

And I flew to my hiding place, away from their sight, and in the next few months continued to look at my Dragon Little growing up day by day. I continued to watch, and they did call me again, as if nothing had happened. 

—Told by The Red Dragon

#258: To the Rescue!

#256: The Red Dragon Vs. Justin, Part 2