‘The Squashbuckler Diaries’ are the daily tales of Joy Shelley’s Life in the Dream. The ‘Lost in Dreams’ books will tell the story of what happens to her at ages 6, 9, 12, 15, and so on. The diaries tell us what happens before, after, and between the books.

#182: Learning Sword-Fighting, Part 2: Learning to Lose

Two hours later, Dragon Little came out of her cabin. Bonny’s Revenge had not moved. The pirate ship that served as their home still floated on top of the endless ocean.

She glared at her father. She was not over what had happened two hours ago

Justin, which I call Dragon Father, was also not over it. He had been sitting there, his back against the wooden railing, two swords in hand.

“Come on,” Dragon Little said. “I’ll beat you.” 

Dragon Father stood up. “You want to beat villains?”

Dragon Little nodded. Almost every day of their lives for the years I would come to know them, they spent fighting villains. 

“You want to be able to defeat the bad guys?” 

She nodded again.

“Well, here’s the lesson. We can win the first fight, we can lose the first fight. What matters is the end. The best way to win in the end is to not be a sore loser when you lose a fight. You understand?”

She nodded. 

“The best way to win in the end is to lose well. You understand?”

She nodded. 

He shook his head. “There’s no way you understand.” She was a bit above two years old, after all. I breathed a sigh of relief at the fact that he did not believe her. “To win in the end,” he said more slowly, “you have to lose well in the beginning. Lose really well. Lose and be happy about it. Here,” he threw the small sword at her. She caught it without effort. “I’ll show you.”

They both stood in front of each other, swords drawn. 

“This is what’s going to happen,” he said. “You play the villain. I’ll be me. I’ll lose. And I’ll show you how to lose well, okay?”

She nodded. 

They started to fight. Dragon Father fought badly and slowly, quickly allowing his 2-year-old daughter to disarm him and put the sword at his throat. 

“You got me! You got me fair and square!” Dragon Father raised his hands. “I lost! I lost! I had no chance! Take me to your prison! Or take me to your leader! You win!” 

Dragon Little lowered her sword. 

“See?” Dragon Father said. “I lost. I accepted it. I asked to go to prison or see their leader. I lost now, but I’ll win later. See?”

Dragon Little nodded.

“Let’s do that again a few times, then we switch, okay?”

That is what they did. And that was Dragon Little’s first lessons in losing well, a lesson that would save her life many times in the future.

—Told by The Red Dragon

#183: A Fun Day

#181: Learning Sword-Fighting, Part 1