It was winter time in the Dream. Which means that it had been winter since Dragon Father appeared half an hour ago on the deck of Bonny’s Revenge, and suddenly gusts of wind and snow filled the air. 

The ocean froze immediately, and Bonnie’s Revenge, their pirate ship, became stuck in the snow, unable to sail the oceans or rise into the air. Immediately after the ocean froze, mountains of snow appeared on top of the ice, coming up almost as high as the deck. The deck itself began to fill with snow. 

Dragon Little wore a coat, warm clothing, and gloves that had appeared in Dragon Father’s hands just in time. Dragon Father’s warm clothes just appeared on him. 

The two looked at the mountains of snow and the snow falling. 

“Where did all this come from?” Dragon Father was saying, clearly not realizing that he was the cause for the snow. Almost everything in his dream was his creation, after all. “Boy, winter’s getting worse every year. Seriously. Global warming… Climate change…” 

Dragon Little looked at him. “What?” 

Dragon Father looked down and shook his head to say ‘never mind’. 

He leaned his back on the mast. “Oh, my god,” he said calmly. “I remember the first time I waited for Santa Claus. My dad hated it so much, he sat me down--”

“Santa Claus?” Dragon Little, now four and a half years old, stopped him. “Who is that?”

Dragon Father looked down at her again and laughed. “Oh, dear. I’m going to have to tell you what my dad told me, aren’t I?” He pursed his lips and said, “Joy, Santa Claus is someone a lot of people think exists. He wears, like, a red coat, he’s very fat, always happy, and has a white beard. And, uh, people think that he lives in the North Pole, where everything’s cold. And then, once a year, he flies all over the world and gives gifts to everyone.” 

“I want a gift!” 

“What? Of course you do! Everyone wants gifts. But there’s no such thing as Santa Claus, it’s something--”

“I want a gift!” 

“No, but, it’s something people invented. They tell it to kids, and then they believe it, and then after a few years, they have to tell them it’s not true. See? It’s lying and it’s disappointing! I want to save you your disappointment.” 

“I want a gift!” 

“You’ll get a gift. But not today, and not from Santa Claus.”

“I want a gift!” 

“Yeah, Joy, but he can’t exist. He has a sled that flies. Who has a sled that flies?!”

“We have a ship that flies!” 

“Well, yes, that’s… true… but it’s different. We got it from aliens. And he has reindeer that—”

“I want a gift!” Her voice was getting pretty high. 

“Joy! Listen! Santa! Doesn’t! Exist! He doesn’t exist! So he can’t give you a gift! He just doesn’t—” He stopped talking as it became clear to him that Dragon Little was looking at something behind him. “He’s right behind me, isn’t he, Joy?”

Dragon Little nodded. 

And, indeed, the person Dragon Father just described had landed his sled right behind the mast. 

Tomorrow I will tell you more about the adventure that followed. 

—Told by The Red Dragon